Why Am I Attracted to Emotionally Unavailable Men?
There is a pervasive belief that you are bound to meet both emotionally available and unavailable types. However, it is observed that there are higher instances of emotionally unavailable men. This article explores the reasons behind this phenomenon and offers insights and advice on how to navigate these situations.
Understanding the Reasons Behind Attraction to Emotionally Unavailable Men
One common reason is that you might not have a clear idea of what you really desire in a partner. Many women subconsciously dismiss several men, considering them as undesirable and hence emotionally invisible to them. This makes it easy for emotionally unavailable men to stand out as a notable figure. You might have thought you were charming and visible to people, but perhaps you were seen as disposable or not available in the way you expected.
Subconscious Signals and Attraction
Attraction is often governed by the subconscious signals given off by both parties. Emotionally unavailable men who want to have some surface-level interaction, but still want an easy exit, find a match in those who give off an air of being unavailable. This happens because of a subconscious belief that we are not lovable and hence build walls around ourselves to avoid getting hurt.
When you subconsciously believe that you are not lovable, you might project this unavailability to others. This makes you more attractive to emotionally unavailable men who are looking for someone who is also not emotionally invested but still wants to enjoy the initial stages of romantic engagement without serious commitment. This behavior can lead to hurt and misunderstandings, ultimately ending in pain and disappointment for everyone involved.
Low Emotional Intelligence and Attraction
The term 'emotionally unavailable man' often denotes a man with low emotional intelligence. These men have "figured out" women and, as a result, are no longer easily manipulable. This is why they, along with other men with similar traits, are often the ones who attract women. In essence, they have the advantage in the game of emotional engagement and are adept at maintaining control, making them more attractive to other emotionally unavailable individuals.
It's important to recognize that being emotionally unavailable can be a defense mechanism, often stemming from past experiences of hurt or rejection. While these men may be skilled at maintaining a certain level of emotional control, it is crucial for the woman to understand that this behavior can lead to long-term hurt and dissatisfaction.
Strategies to Move Forward
First and foremost, you should get clear about what you truly want in a partner. Focus on honing your emotional intelligence and making sure that your expectations align with what you're looking for in a relationship. If you notice patterns in your dating life, take the time to reflect on why certain types of men are attracted to you. Understanding these patterns can help you identify and address the underlying issues.
Additionally, seek support from friends, family, or a counselor who can help you navigate these challenges. Remember that you are in control of your emotions and choices. Don't settle for a relationship that feels one-sided or emotionally unfulfilling. It's important to find a partner who is emotionally available and open-hearted, which will foster a healthier and more satisfying relationship in the long run.
In conclusion, being attracted to emotionally unavailable men can be a complex issue with a variety of underlying causes. By understanding your own feelings and desires, and seeking support where necessary, you can move towards a more fulfilling and emotionally satisfying relationship.